


Unbalanced

by Itsmarvelous



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Kissing, Lee Jeno is Whipped, Lee Jeno-centric, M/M, Mutual Pining, NCT Dream Ensemble-centric, Na Jaemin is Whipped, Na Jaemin-centric, Roommates, Secret Relationship, Swearing, one bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:15:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25452991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itsmarvelous/pseuds/Itsmarvelous
Summary: Jaemin suggested they practice kissing, making him realize he has feelings for his best friend.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 139





	Unbalanced

“Can I ask you something?”

Their legs were hanging off opposite ends of Jaemin’s bed. Tired eyes focused on the ceiling above them. After hearing Jeno speak, Jaemin turned his head to look at his friend. Curious as to what his question may be.

“Yeah, go ahead.”

They were both exhausted, making an eerily calm feeling surround them. Jeno had headed towards Jaemin’s bed after his shower, passing by his own. He just felt like sitting beside his best friend.

From his spot on Jaemin’s bed, he fiddled with the strings of his sweater. He needed to think about how to ask his question.

“Have you ever kissed someone before?”

Jaemin looked his friend in the eyes. It dawned on him that in all their years of friendship, they’ve never talked about this. They’ve trained and debuted beside each other, but the topic of first kisses has never even been mentioned.

“No actually, I haven’t.”

Jeno turned to look at Jaemin, locking eyes for a second. “Neither have I.”

Their eyes soon resumed looking at the ceiling. Everything feels a little hazy, almost as if there's a fog covering their senses.

When Jaemin asks a simple question, the fog clears. “Do you wanna try? It doesn’t have to mean anything... just practice.”

Jaemin maneuvers his body until he’s sitting cross legged on his bed, looking at Jeno. His friend copies his movements, soon they’re face to face.

“Is that a good idea?” Jeno asks softly, head tilting a little as he asks the question.

“Who cares? It’s not like we have to tell anyone.” 

They sat in silence for a second, Jeno noticed as Jaemin bit his lip.

“Okay.” Said Jeno.

Jaemin’s eyes opened a little wider. He didn’t expect Jeno to accept his proposition.

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” Jeno replied, nodding his head. “Are you?”

Jaemin answered immediately. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

Neither moved, but Jeno’s eyes did travel to Jaemin’s lips.

“Should we just lean in?” Suggested Jeno. 

“And meet in the middle?” Continued Jaemin.

They nodded, then slowly leaned forward. Before their lips touched, they both closed their eyes. 

It was clumsy, but something about it felt right. Their lips soon found a pattern, making it less messy than before. Did it always feel like this to kiss someone? Did it always feel like something clicking into place?

Their arms -which started off awkwardly by their sides- soon started to move. 

Jaemin placed one hand on Jeno’s waist, pulling back to ask breathlessly. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” Jeno replied, then kissed Jaemin again.

He entangled his hand in Jaemin’s hair, fingers caught in the pink strands.

They kissed for another minute, then pulled away. Smiling brightly at each other as they breathed a little harder. Both boys had a deep blush on their cheeks, flustered from their kiss.

Jaemin grinned. “That couldn’t have been your first time kissing somebody.”

Jeno smiled at Jaemin, noticing the tips of his ears had turned red. He just shrugged his shoulders in response, eyes never leaving Jaemin's gaze. This made both of them laugh, making it harder for them to catch their breath

After a few seconds, Jaemin spoke quietly. His eyes rested on his fidgeting hands, and he spoke with a hesitant tone. “We should do this again sometime. You know, if you want to.”

“Yeah, we should. For practice.” Jeno replied with a smile, nodding his head.

Jaemin wasn’t sure why that last statement stung a little. He knew it was for practice, he had suggested it. It’s not like it meant something more, right?

Jaemin watched Jeno as he slowly stood from his spot on the bed, then shuffled his way to the light switch. He fell into his own bed with a heavy thud, then turned until he faced Jaemin's direction.

“We should get some sleep. It’s an early day tomorrow.”

“Yeah, true.” Said Jaemin, but he was lost in thought. He looked towards Jeno again a couple minutes later, but he was already sleeping.

Kissing probably feels like this for everyone. Jeno is his best friend, he can’t like him like that. It would change everything. 

He must just be getting caught up in the feelings from their kiss, Jaemin thinks. He likes Jeno like a friend. That’s it, nothing more.

Right?

He falls asleep restlessly that night, mind occupied with these newfound thoughts.

Their arrangement continues for another couple months. Sometimes finding each other late at night to practice kissing.

Jaemin doesn’t know what to do. He’s been dealing with these feelings all by himself, but they're driving him insane. He doesn’t know if he should tell Jeno. He’s scared of how he’ll react.

Jaemin knows that his feelings aren’t entirely platonic. He’s done enough research to know that wanting to kiss your best friend means something more than friendship.

That’s why he finds himself at Renjun’s door one morning, he just needs someone to talk to.

“What’s up?” Renjun asks, rubbing his eyes. Jaemin had probably woken him up by knocking.

“Can I talk to you?” Jaemin asks quietly.

Renjun looks at him questioningly, nodding as he opens the door to his room. He closes it quietly after Jaemin enters, then sits down beside his friend. They were side by side on Renjun’s bed.

“I’m going to tell you something,” Jaemin says, moving his hands as he speaks. He avoids looking at Renjun right away. “But you can’t react loudly because everyone else is still sleeping.”

Renjun nods, looking directly at Jaemin.

“I think I like Jeno. Like more than friends.”

Renjun smiles at him, “Yeah? That’s okay, Jaemin. You’re my best friend, no matter what.”

Renjun pulls his friend into a hug, glad Jaemin’s smiling as well. When Jaemin pulls away, Renjun notices a blush on his cheeks. “Wanna tell me when this all happened?” Renjun asks, watching as the blush on his friend’s cheeks grows darker.

“Okay,” said Jaemin, turning to look at Renjun with his hands out in front of him. “Just don't freak out, or anything.”

Renjun answered with a smile, "I won't freak out, I promise."

“Good.”

“So, what happened?"

Jaemin looked at the wall in front of him when he spoke quickly.

“I asked him if he wanted to practice kissing with me. He said yes.”

Jaemin turned to look at Renjun. 

“I didn’t know I liked him when I asked though.” Jaemin said with a shrug. "And that was a couple months ago." 

“So you two, have been 'practicing' kissing,” said Renjun with air quotes, “for months now, and nobody noticed.”

Jaemin nodded, then Renjun continued.

“Alright, you need to confess to him. I mean, when you’re ready obviously. I have a feeling it’ll go well though. So, if you need me to get the kids out of the dorm, just ask.”

Jaemin smiled at his friends immediate reaction, but after a minute, his expression turned. “What if it doesn’t go well though, I’ll lose one of my best friends. I’ll be responsible for ruining our friendship. I can’t do that.”

Renjun took his friend’s hands, holding them sincerely. “Jaemin, even if Jeno doesn’t feel the same way, he’ll never stop being your best friend. You guys are too close, you love each other too much. If he let’s something like this split up your friendship -even for a second- I’ll smack some sense into him. I promise.”

That made Jaemin chuckle. “Did you just threaten him? You can’t threaten him, that’s illegal.”

“The cops know where to find me.” Said Renjun as nonchalantly as possible, making both of them laugh once more. 

“Okay no seriously though,” said Renjun. “It’ll be okay. He’s a good guy.”

“I know.” Replied Jaemin, smiling to himself. Renjun saw a deep blush creeping up his neck.

“Oh my god, you’re blushing!” Renjun said teasingly, making Jaemin laugh.

“Stop it!” The younger boy said with a chuckle, knowing the teasing was good-natured.

Renjun and Jaemin were smiling at one another, stifling laughter, when they heard movement in the hallway.

“Someone must’ve woken up.” Said Jaemin. “We should go make some breakfast before practice.”

Jaemin was already standing and heading towards the door when Renjun grabbed his attention.

“Wait!” 

Jaemin turned to look at him, listening to Renjun once more.

“Are you going to tell Jeno how you feel?” 

Renjun stood up, moving to stand beside Jaemin by the door as he waited for his younger friend to answer.

“I’ll think about it.” Said Jaemin after a minute, continuing soon after. “You’ll be the first person I tell though.”

“Okay,” said Renjun. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”

Jaemin smiled, then pulled Renjun into a hug. “You’re my best friend, I wish I had told you sooner.”

Renjun returned the hug. It was Jaemin who pulled away a couple seconds later, looking towards the bedroom door.

“We should probably go now. We don’t want the kids burning down the dorm.”

That made Renjun laugh as he headed into the hallway. “Yeah, it’s way too early to deal with a fire right now.”

They walked down the hallway, and soon joined the rest of Dream in the kitchen.

All Renjun could think about while making breakfast was the conversation he had had with Jeno not even a week prior. He smiled, never before realizing how oblivious his best friends truly were about their feelings.

Dream had decided to have a spontaneous movie night. Everyone had managed to find a spot on their two couches, but they were pretty close together. Jaemin had been the last to enter the living room, finding the only spot left beside Jeno.

He was used to being close to his best friend. They had never shied away from affection during all their years of friendship, but everything felt a little different now to Jaemin.

After his conversation with Renjun, Jaemin felt like everything was dialed to eleven. Their usual hugs left his skin feeling warmer than normal, and a simple whisper from Jeno could make his breath hitch while goosebumps littered his skin. Don’t even get him started on how Jeno’s laugh sounds better than any music he could ever dream of making.

And now he’s sitting on the couch, squished impossibly close to the one person that is making his world feel a whole lot different.

Jaemin can only hope that Jeno can’t feel his heartbeat, which is beating faster than should be possible. He doesn’t even know what the movie they're watching is about, having not looked at the screen clearly the entire film. He’s been too focused on trying to maintain his breathing.

“I’ll be right back.” He whispered to Jeno suddenly. Jumping off the couch and practically running to their room.

As soon as he opened their shared bedroom door, he shut it and leaned against it. Sliding down to the floor, breathing out with his eyes closed.

‘Okay, you need to calm down right now.’ He thinks to himself. ‘You’re just sitting beside him, that’s it! You’re making a much bigger deal out of this than you need to. Just breathe.’

Jaemin sat there, repeating these words over and over in his head. After who knows how long, he heard a soft knock on the door.

“Can I come in?” 

It was Jeno.

Jaemin stood up, quickly looking in the mirror to make sure he hadn’t messed up his hair. He took a deep breath, then opened the door. Jeno spoke first.

“It’s been almost twenty minutes, I was getting worried.” Jeno walked into their room, and sat down on his bed. He patted the spot beside him, motioning for Jaemin to join him. When Jaemin sat down, he made sure they weren’t touching. He doesn’t think he’d be able to calm himself down again without Jeno noticing.

“Are you okay? You seemed kind of jumpy when you left.”

Jaemin thought for a second before answering. Should he tell him the truth? Or should he just say he was tired?

“Yeah,” he said quietly, looking away from Jeno’s direction. “I’m okay.”

Jeno looked at him sincerely, then spoke softly. “Jaemin, I’ve known you for years. I can tell when something is on your mind. If you want to tell me about it, you can trust me.”

Jaemin didn’t answer right away, leaving their room silent. The only thing they could hear was the muffled sounds of the movie playing in the living room.

Jaemin looked up at Jeno, his eyes full of emotion. “If I tell you something, will you promise we’ll still be best friends. No matter what?” 

Jeno looked taken aback, but was quick to reassure his younger friend. “Jaemin, of course. I love you no matter what, nothing can change that. I promise.”

Jaemin looked at his hands, and took a deep breath. He was not expecting to confess tonight.

“I like you Jeno, like more than friends.” He met his friend's eyes, not quite sure what he’s expecting to see. “ I’ve felt this way since the night we first practiced kissing, but I feel like I've had feelings for you since long before that.” Jaemin was blushing, leaving his entire face red. He looked back down at his hands, which were clasped together in his lap. He paused before speaking his next thought, possibly quieter than before. “I was scared to tell you because I didn’t want to lose my best friend.” 

Jaemin bit his lip as he waited for Jeno’s response. His older friend reached out for Jaemin’s hand, a smile forming on his face.

“Can I kiss you, for real this time?”

Jaemin was shocked for a second, then nodded his head. 

“Yes,” He said with a smile.

They leaned towards each other until their lips finally met. It was real this time too, they didn’t need to practice anymore. 

Jeno’s free hand ran through Jaemin’s hair, their proximity making his vanilla shampoo intoxicating.

Jaemin’s hand pulled Jeno closer, wrapping around his waist gently.

They kissed for another minute, then pulled away breathless. 

Jeno spoke when his breath evened out. “I’ve liked you since that night as well. I never understood my feelings before, then we kissed, and it just felt right.”

They smiled at each other for a minute, listening to the sounds of their forgotten movie through the walls. Jaemin broke the silence by asking the question they were both thinking.

“So, what happens now?”

A blush started to form on Jeno’s neck, knowing the question he was about to ask Jaemin. With hopeful eyes, he found his words. “Do you want to be my Boyfriend?” 

A smile formed on Jaemin’s face, making him flustered as he nodded excitedly. “Yeah, I do.” He moved to hug Jeno, pulling him close. Jaemin pulled away slightly, letting them kiss. Smiles forming once more.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the way kissing you makes me feel.”

“Oh my god, stooooop” Said Jaemin, flustered from Jeno’s words. “Too sappy!” He added, making them both laugh. 

Jeno looked at Jaemin with bright eyes, then back at their bedroom door.

“I don’t really want to go back out there to finish the movie. Do you?” He asked, wanting instead to stay by themselves in their shared room.

“No, I’d rather stay here.”

Jeno stood up, moving towards the light switch.

“Good.” He said with a sheepish smile.

Jaemin maneuvered until he was under Jeno's blankets, then held up a corner for Jeno to join him.

When Jeno settled, Jaemin rested his head on Jeno’s chest. He wrapped one arm around Jeno’s waist, smiling as he felt Jeno’s arm pull him closer. He looked up to meet Jeno’s eyes.

“I’m glad you came to check on me, I’m not sure when else I would’ve confessed.”

Jeno kissed his forehead, “I’m glad I came too.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was edited December 27th, 2020, at 4 in the morning.
> 
> So cheers, and a happy New Year!!


End file.
